You are the fantasy. Leave the hum-drum sob stories and flaws at home. Don’t just have the ability to attract someone; have the ability to keep them attracted. What the SD’s consider a goldmine are the Four As: Agreeable, Attractive, Accomplished (talents/hobbies) and Alluring.
You get what you pay for.Instead of splurging on random clothes, find high quality, key things first. You’ll have to keep buying clothes when those cheap things become ill-fitted, fall apart, and go out of style. Same goes for other material things (headphones, laptops, makeup, whatever).
You can’t pay your bills with a wardrobe. Unless you want to have a collection of Gucci, Chanel, or LV to sell at a discounted price to others, don’t concentrate on your ‘wants’ first. Always cover all of your needs. Hold onto money until you have 3 months worth of rent/utilities. Anything can happen so prepare for a rainy day.
Don’t wait. Every time you wait a day to edit your profile, you lost a POT or ten. Don’t wait until you’re running out of money to ask for an SD for extra. Do not wait until things start to go wrong to make sure you’re on your plan for success.
Make a list everyday. Only write on it what you have accomplished for that day. This will keep you motivated and productive. You can even create a point system with monthly rewards if you want.
Never stop.Keep motivated. Look for inspiration if you must, and keep negative thoughts out. Doubt accomplishes nothing but slowing you down. Stay informed and stay safe whenever in the bowl.
Be the first.Initiate light skin contact, eye contact, or even conversation. You will seem interested, making them feel special. This also makes them crave the attention once it is lost. Then, let him chase you. This prolongs a SB/SD relationship.
Never buy it if someone else can.Keep a wishlist. You can suggest it when bringing up your birthday (real or not) or even suggesting getting new clothes that would make you both look good. You have more money to save when someone shops for you.
Learn to take breaks.If you don’t take a day off from everything one or two days a week, you will crash. Not only will you lose enthusiasm but, you will be desensitized to the things you do regularly.
Make your SD shine and you will shine. If your SD were happy, not just ‘satisfied’, don’t you think he’d want to spoil you? Wouldn’t it be easier to ask for more? Never act like you’re too good – instead treat them as if you compliment them well. That way they cannot replace you easily. Remember, having a SB is a big ego boost for them.
Real and true Sugar Daddy’s are like unicorns. Rare, mystical and magical!
Make sure that you always speak to them in that same charming and powerful way. Inundate them with sexyness. The tone of Toni Braxton, Whitney Houston or even Ariana Grande. Soft, raspy, airy.
Speaking to men in this tone has always helped me stun and shock them into doing what I want.
Be alluring and engaging when you speak. After you’ve seamlessly worked talking about your desires into the conversation, NATURALLY. Bring up the item(s) wanted.
A secondary tone that I use to get what I want is the “bratty baby girl tone”. Imagine that you’re a super cute and adorable young girl, innocent and spoiled.
Example: OMG Baby/Daddy! I want this SOOO bad. It’s so amazing and adorable!! It would look so cute on me! Or “I would love to have this.”
*Try on item if at store or show/ share photo of item if not at a store*
Then touch his hand, arm etc. Always seal the deal with physical touch.
*Tip*
Be sure to always communicate in a controlled, sophisticated and sexy way. The best tones in my experience are bratty/ childish or Sexy, light and raspy. Utilise a charming voice to woo your daddy when you do speak up. Make sure that you’re the sweetest sound that he’d want to hear.
So this requires an investment of time which most success comes from time!
So you want an allowance, a man to take care of you, someone that respects you, and *insert in other things you want maybe he’s single or not w/e*
I’ve always stayed quiet and rarely comment on advice posts. If I reblog it, it means I actually find value in it. Anyways, half of the “after your first date negotiate your allowance” is complete bullshit and you’ll probably end up with nothing. It’s total novice hour advice and just basic as hell lol. If you follow it, whatever eventually in time you’ll learn on your own that it doesn’t work and you are potentially missing out on someone great that could have provided for you but you handled it the wrong way!!
Potential Sugar Daddy: You sound interesting, I’m excited to meet you - what do you say about meeting at *insert a nice dinner place* or *insert a nice lunch place* ?
Sugar baby: I was thinking for our first date we could actually try this fabulous place I’ve been dying to try *insert something you actually want to try that’s upscale and cool* – Note don’t say at the end of it: Hope that’s okay with you, or if you don’t mind. Slowly attach the leash, this small sentence just gives you the small bit of control which is crucial in the long term. Right away this shows for the first date he’s going to be spoiling you to something you like - now he knows you’ll be vocal about what you want.
Ok fast forward you’re at dinner with your POT and he asks you the most dreaded question, seriously were asking this in person?? “what do you want in an arrangement?”
Sugar Baby: You know, I have to really think about it. I mean, I know I want a gentleman that is respectful and courteous and likes to try new things with me. I guess you can say, maybe a partner in crime almost?
The potential will then be confused because you didn’t really answer his question but you’re already setting a bar he needs to match up to first: You need chemistry and you need a friendship for things to work and progress.
Potential Sugar Daddy: Well that’s great, I’m looking for that too… But I’m wondering, arrangement wise like allowance what would make you happy?
Sugar baby: As I said before its in relation to having chemistry and a friendship that we can properly make something that works for the both of us. I’m a beautiful young girl, with great ambition and dreams to *insert your truth* and I am looking for assistance. It’s very easy for me to find somebody to support me, but the connection is not very easy to find. Once you have a connection and the support that’s when the arrangement works in both of our favours and becomes long term.
Right above you just completely shut him up because now he understands: Ok, this is all true. She is beautiful, she is young, she has many options. How can I stand out? Well connection.. Hmm… If I spoil her that will make her happy? Happy girl means a connection and then I’m happy. (Men logic lol)
Now, he might try to offer you an allowance right then and there and it might be really good and exactly what you’re looking for. Hold off! Don’t say no, and don’t say yes, just simply smile and say:
Sugar Baby: “Well that’s very generous of you, although I believe we should still connect more before we start tossing out numbers. I’m not a bingo card *wink*”
So now he thinks what he offered either isn’t enough, or you’re not feeling a connection yet to really offer him his side of companionship. So another date happens but this time he might bring flowers, or ask if you need anything because now he’s trying to prove he can do more. I let this happen until the second/third date. On your third date you BOTH will know if chemistry is there and a connection exists. This is when you hatch open the can of worms about the arrangement because the offer will be now MORE generous. He will feel more comfortable in doing things with you because now he’s slowly getting addicted.
Main point of the post: Don’t try to negotiate right away, lead him on a bit so he’s continuously trying to figure you out. This is how he submits / gains respect for you. The more respect he has the more generous and powerful of an arrangement you’ll create.
Yaaassss bitch! 👏🏼 Exactly how I landed my boyfriend lol.
Reblogging again because yes.
This is how luxury brands operate. Exclusive and hard to get. Love this advice.
I’m glad to be back to blogging now. I missed you all ! So since I’ve been gone for quite some time, I figured why not come back with a banging post. So here lies and official Bronzy advice post that you’ve all missed so much.
There’s this big issue that I’ve noticed in the bowl and that is “women being unable to communicate their standards, to Salt, POTs and SDs and even fellow sugars.”. I see it al over Tumblr- a girl get’s offered a low amount of allowance from a POT, ensue, all hell that breaks loose in her response to him. Actually this is something I witness more on Instagram than anywhere else. Sorry IG ladies, but it’s true.
Time and time again on IG, I’ll stumble across screenshots of arguments with POTs. Forgetting about whatever silly things these men said (this post is focusing on the women as there aren’t men here I can talk to), I see SBs desperately try to scramble to communicate their self worth and standards. But so, so, so many of you go about it the wrong way. You start firing off, cussing and condemning Craig and bashing and belittling Ben.Granted some men warrant these kind of responses, there is no excuse for a man to be hateful, disrespectful, racist, sexist, etc. But a lot of what I see doesn’t fall into this category. And women are going about demanding more respect from men in completely the wrong way.
See there are three types of women that spring to mind when I imagine women who try to communicate their standards. Some of you may recognise these characters from my Instagram.
1) The Salty Sass.. lets call her ‘Messy Morton’, she’s the salty kind.
2) The Sickeningly Sweet … We’ll name her ‘Silly Stevia’
3) The Golden Goddess.. her highness is called ‘Boss Bitch’
*this is going to be my longest one yet, so grab a cup of tea and get comfy*
Before we delve into these personas and their complexities, lets discuss the challenges they all face.
AWARENESS
This is usually where the problems begin for a lot of women. They actually aren’t even aware of what their standards are in the first place. They’ve never really thought about what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior when it comes to interaction with everyone, not just men. What treatment they expect is not something they’ve actually taken a moment to really think about.
Expression
Even when we are aware of our standards, we don’t always know how to articulate them without coming across as bitchy, high maintenance, confrontational, crazy, psycho, batty (insert synonyms for psychotic here). Sometimes we fear confrontation. We may not like the way someone treats us, but at the same time, we don’t want to start an argument or risk the other person getting upset and leaving, or even risk losing our precious allowances.
You know, a lot of people are actually afraid to talk about how communicating your standards can be a very tricky thing. I know when I was younger, the fear of confrontation would paralyse me from telling people that I would not be treated in disrespectful mannerisms.
But knowing how to communicate your standards is essential in standing out from the crowd. It’s vital that you get away from the basic SB persona and become the woman of High Value I’m always going on about. If you can’t do this, you are stopping yourself from being able to influence the way men treat you.
The Scenario
Your on your date with Simon from SA. You’ve had an amazing time, he’s really impressed you with his choice of restaurant and he even brought you a little gift, despite this being the first meet. It’s getting late and as you and Simon make your way to the taxi bay (that’s cab for my Americans) he asks you if you would like to share a taxi back to his hotel.
Messy Morton
When Simon asks Messy Morton back to his hotel, she immediately goes on the offence. Her response is typically something along the lines of “are you fucking kidding me?!! Do you really think I’d ever fuck you on the first date?! You must be out of your damn mind. You are looking for a prostitute not a sugar baby. Get the heck of SA, you obviously don’t know what a sugar baby is.”
Now ladies, lets analyse MM’s response. Not only has she brought down other sex workers with the self righteous way she talks about other SWs (this is shade at many SB’s that piss me off with this kind of mentality kmt), she has single handedly cut him down, bruised his ego, insulted him and now Simon is never going to ask her out again, there goes the chance of a good relationship out the window.*
Silly Stevia
Silly Stevia is that sweet passive girl. Problem is she’s too sweet. Remember that girl in school that was too nice, she would let all the popular kids boss her around for their own gain: yet she wouldn’t say a word about being uncomfortable with how she was treated (and even when she did, she said it in her room when she was with a friend rather than to the people who actually needed to hear it). She basically let herself be treated like a door mat and because of that no one respected her, in fact they probably felt pitiful or disgusted. This is Silly Stevia, and many people out there, and me, I was that little girl in school.. but that’s a story for another day.
In the situation with Simon, SS does either of two things.
She either makes excuses: “ Actually, my friend is waiting up for me, I’m helping her pack for her trip to NY. But maybe next time”. Or …She goes to his hotel and sleeps with him, or just hangs around and uses the ‘period excuse’ or whatever. But whether or not she sleeps with him, she lets herself be put in a situation that she doesn’t even feel comfortable with by being complacent. So what happens in both these possibilities is that Simon never really learns that he was moving to fast for her, all he knows is she made an excuse or she acted weak.
Neither Morton or Stevia have gotten anywhere here. One displayed their standards but didn’t arouse any excitement while the other lowers her standards and compromises her integrity.
The Golden Goddess
GG has mastered the optimum mixture of salty and sweet that keeps men from treating her badly, while still not being satiated and always has them wanting more: and building attraction on top of that.
Here’s what GG says: “I’ve really enjoyed myself tonight, you’ve picked a great restaurant. I must say, I’m quite impressed (*insert smile here*). You know what, a part of me wants to get in that taxi with you because i find you sexy, but in all honesty, I’m not one of those girls that moves with things that quickly. It’s just never really been my thing, but, if you want to take me somewhere as lovely as this next week, i’d love to go, you seem to have an eye for quality”
Go back and read that quote again!
The Break Down
“You’ve picked a great place … impressed”
This first line communicates that you are a woman of high value. It gives of the impression that you are not easily impressed, yet he’s managed to make an impression , and trust me, that will make him feel special. He’s probably thinking “Score, I’ve impressed her”. What I love about this is it also reverses the status quo. A lot of times, men, particularly wealthy ones, are used to women trying to impress them and get their attention, but you are subliminally telling him that “he has to be the one to impress you”. This will catch him off guard and separate you from all the other women he’s dated… Unless they’ve read this post too, in which case, he’ll be used to dealing with Boss Bitches. ;)
“There’s a part of me … sexy”
This is where we’ve elevated things to a more sensual and playful level. You are creating sexual tension and desire and his mind is on fire. “OMG, this beautiful woman finds me sexy ! Yesss !! She wants me !! “ (This always makes me laugh when i write it, but its true :D ). In reality the majority of men are not nearly as accustomed to compliments like women are. So whether he even believes you or not, he’ll be flattered with the gesture.
“I’m not one of those girls”
This little gem we have here is a technique I’ve discussed before on Instagram, so I’m not going to delve too deep into it, but it’s a concept called “Distancing”. In summary, its the art of intentionally removing yourself from all the other people (in this case women) in someones life. So you don’t fall into the category of ‘friend’ or ‘girlfriend’ or ‘thot”, instead, he creates a separate little category just for you, in his head. I will say though, that this line is very cliche and woks best when genuine, or accompanied with Oscar worthy acting skills.
“It’s just never really been my thing”
The simplest yet most important part of it all. This is when he understands that you are not going to sleep with him yet (or whatever scenario you are utilising this for) and that you don’t appreciated being asked for such a thing.
“if you want … eye for quality”
Leaving things on a sweet note while subtly telling him to up his game is my favourite part of it all. You’ve suggested he takes you somewhere just as nice, or even better, without coming across as pushy and in his face. Make no mistake, I’m not saying “take me !”, i’m saying “if you want, I’ll accept”. Make him feel like he’s the one who came up with the idea. He now has the opportunity to ask you out: men like to feel like they are doing the chasing, you never want to come across like you are chasing a man.** In other words, you’ve communicated another standard and he now knows that you expect to be wined and dined and now he has the task to keep impressing you. This also works if you find that men often take you to nice plces and treat you really well when you first meet them but later change their attitude and lower their standards.
This is the difference between a normal girl, and a goddess. This is how you keep men coming back for more. This is how you separate yourself from Basic Becky, Sleazy Sarah, Silly Stevia, Naive Nancy and Messy Morton. What I’ve learned is the best way to get positive action from men who have fallen slightly from the tracks of gentlemanly and how I got my super Hunky Director to see me as a Goddess even when he’s surrounded by beautiful actresses/models all the time, is what I’ve tried to embody in this post.
I’ll be posting more on attraction*** and giving examples of situation in the future so keep your eyes peeled.
In the mean time, don’t forget to share and your welcome.
XXX
BronzedSugarUK
(feeling frustrated or confused? got something on your mind about what I said? take a quick look at this disclaimer)
*Disclaimer, as annoying as it is when men try and sleep with you early on, that's what men do. In fact if a man wasn’t thinking about having sex with you when hes on a date with you then I’d be quite worried. But this doesn’t mean that just because its normal, that you are obliged to entertain their thoughts. I’m just making you aware that if you are an attractive person, people will want to sleep with you on the first or second date. Get over it. You hold the Punan, so you are the one who control whether or not it happens.
** While you don’t want to come across like you are chasing a man, I do actually encourage all my followers to chase what they want, whether that's a man, or their dreams. But what i’m always trying to teach you is how to make it look like you are not actually the one doing the chasing.
*** if you are interested in the inspiration behind this post, DM me.
Me: I am looking for a traditional sugar daddy/sugar baby type of relationship. I would like to be spoiled in many aspects including financial security/gain. I am looking for excitement, fun, adventure as well as mentorship.
I have many dreams and goals, I’m very driven and professionally ambitious, I just can’t seem to be able to focus on my career/studies because I keep getting distracted with meaningless jobs and chores that I need to do in order to make ends meet.
I’m looking for someone who can help me alleviate those expenses so I can focus on excelling in my field, a caring man who sees the potential I have, I believe I can achieve great things given the opportunity.
I would like to meet a successful gentleman who is genuinely interested in investing his resources (time, knowledge and financial aid) on a vibrant young girl who will make him proud of the pupil he’s taking on as times goes by.
I’m not interested in superfluous or extravagant gifts, that’ll come later, for now all I want is be able to focus 100% on my career/studies and be a successful self made person by the time I reach (age+2).
If you already tried to turn men from real life into SD’s without success you need a plan and a strategy and the willingness to let a guy go if he is not generous. And most important you need the right mindset!!!
Let’s pretend you met a guy on tinder who could be SD material and happens to be in your city on his next business trip
1.First of all: No spoiling=no date!
Start with a text: “Looking so much forward to see you….Since I am the best tour guide out there I thought about what we could do when you are here and “xy-restaurant” sounds amazing! I always wanted to go there, we could try that. Would you like that? And if yes, can you make a reservation?”
If he refuses tell him you feel most comfortable to meet the first time over a nice dinner and you are not used to anything different.
Yes he could be “too busy”to meet for a whole dinner. But you know what? No gentleman is too busy to meet a girl for dinner who he is really interested in and in case he says that THEN YOU are too busy and your time too precious to spend 2 hours in the bathroom for a simple drink!
If you don’t want to meet for dinner because you want to keep your diet or you simply don’t want to face the risk of getting bored during dinner with a stranger I do understand if you prefer to meet for a drink- however I personally think that the best way to get to know a guy is in fact to invest more time and meet for dinner or a meal AT AN EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT. Furthermore by doing that you automatically send a signal: you present yourself as high maintenance and a man sees that he needs to invest money if he wants to spend time with you.
If he agrees to have dinner, text him “I really want to look cute for you especially since this is our first date but i dont have anything nice to wear in my closet… i saw this amazing dress of “xy” though and it would look so good on me….” If he doesnt get the hint you can add “can you maybe help me get it? I know you wont regret it :) I guarantee I will look smoking hot in it”.
Option B: If he still insists on meeting for a drink you can text him, “well I need a new outfit for “xy-occasion” maybe we can combine a drink with a little shopping?.”
In case he also refuses a drink&shopping - he is cheap, so move on.
2. Of course you don’t do ANYTHING sexual on the first two/three dates even if he is generous! Always keep in mind-the sooner you have sex the sooner he will vanish and move on to the next girl!
Also, no holding hands and no good bye kiss on a first date if he is not generous. In case he is a generous guy but pressuring you with sex, tell him: “i am not used to rushing into things, i need more time please be patient.”
3. He has proven to be generous with gifts? Slowly mention bills and start to discuss an allowance.
Always keep in mind- unless a man has proven different - you need to treat him as someone who has only short term sexual interest in you no matter how much he sweet talks you and that means for you that it will be impossible to get more spoiled by him after you had sex than before!
4. Even if you did not in the past …. - you have to make absolutely clear that you are used to getting spoiled and that you already have standards. But never do that in an arrogant or greedy way. Act like you don’t know any different. Now write on a paper exactly what you want and what your wishes are. You need to learn to verbalize them and feel comfortable doing so. Do it in front of a mirror and again be willing to let a man go if he is not generous!
Last but not least: part of this game is always being a step ahead and focussing on your wishes! Don’t wait for a guy to act generous-demand it or it won’t happen!
It is work though and you have to change your mindset! You have to believe that you deserve getting treated like a princess and hopefully like a queen one day.
"A Man’s goal is to fuck me. He will be nice to me. He will be sweet to me. If that does not work, he will ignore me. He will threaten me. He will challenge me. He will push me away and then try to pull me back. He will even act as if sex isn’t important. These are games. His goal is to fuck me."
• Choose your battles. There are things you won’t be able to convince him of.
• Research sex; watch porn; experiment. Know your limits, know what you’re willing to try.
• Expand your mind - listen to podcasts in your car, learn a second language (like French, Italian or Chinese) and research a few key topics that interest you so that you always have something to talk about.
• Practice good penmanship, always.
• Go to yoga classes which will help you centre your mind, be conscious of your posture and maintain your physique. Many cities have free classes if you’re willing to look.
• Text in full sentences, with accurate grammar.
• Learn how to cook a few ‘fancy’ meals well. Should you spend the night at his house, be prepared to cook one without making a fuss.
• If you’re a smoker, keep gum and perfume on you at all times. Buy a decent lighter, one that you have to refill with lighter fluid. Never light your own cigarettes - pull your lighter out, put your cigarette in your mouth and look at him expectantly.
• Swear less. People will be shocked when you do swear if it’s a rare occurrence.
• Look in the mirror every morning and identify one thing that you love about yourself and your appearance. Throughout the day, remind yourself of this thing.
• Be consciously aware of how fast you’re speaking. Take a second before you speak to collect your thoughts and consider your phrasing.
• Know good dinner etiquette.
• Travel whenever you can, even if it’s only to cities adjacent to yours.
• On dates, go to the bathroom and take a moment to freshen up your makeup, gather yourself and take a deep breath.
• Learn how to mix a few basic cocktails like martinis, Manhattans and mojitos.
• Know this sentence structure: “I understand that _____, is that right?” People want to feel they’re being heard, first and foremost. For example, “I understand you’re upset that I can’t be available short notice. Is that right?” Follow up with: “Let’s work together on a solution.”
• Remain calm, no matter what.
• Learn a sport - tennis, golf, it doesn’t matter.
• Spend time alone; be independent. When you are comfortable with your own company, you will settle for nothing less than good company.
• Build a list of goals for yourself, long and short term. Know them inside out.
• Watch classic movies: Sabrina, All About Eve, Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Study the starlets and pick characteristics, gestures and the like that you can emulate in your own actions.
• Learn to give a good head rub, back massage, etc.
• Subscribe to newsletters for local galleries, art cinemas, fine dining restaurants, etc. Email your SD with suggestions of things that you come across which you think he might like. Don’t be afraid to make the effort, as long as you’re not the only one who is.
• Make reading the newspaper part of your daily ritual. Do the crossword, too.
• Read more - The Life of O, The Awakening, A Handmaid’s Tale, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, The Optimist’s Daughter, Lolita. Reading will become a part of your daily meditation.
• Be punctual, authentic and consistent.
• get out and explore the city/town/neighborhood you live in so that you have some suggestions for places to go no matter the situation. Also, it is great to talk about the places you like to go so that he can get an idea of what you like
• ask questions! Beyond the usual “how was your day?” Try asking him- “what was the last great meal you ate and where? What made it so special?” Follow up questions show you are listening and helps keep the ball in his court
• When a POT gets to talking sexual, either talk financial or smile and be evasive. Don’t be defensive or disgusted, it will likely make things worse. If he is crossing the line, smile and excuse yourself to the restroom and simply collect yourself and leave. Don’t make a scene or argue, it will not end well. Sugaring requires thick skin and you sometimes have to learn to just laugh and change subjects.
• never underestimate a smile and a touch on the arm or hand. Use your eyes and body language to say “I want to fuck you” while keeping the conversation light and neutral- it is a total mind fuck.
• pay attention to your daddy’s needs! Is he always coughing? Carry some cough drops on you for when you see him. Is he always tired? Show up with a hot cup of coffee or a protein bar, even some b-12 gummies. A little effort means a lot to these guys who are largely ignored and spend all their energy on others! My regular loves to snack on grapes and pecans so I always have some in my kitchen for him
• smile when you talk, it makes you seem engaging and helps keep your voice lively for him to listen to
• Keep your place clean! It seems like a no brainer if your SD is coming over to pick your place up but make sure you burn candles or spray something so it smells nice, fresh sheets on a made bed, clean your bathroom, etc. When you take selfies and mirror pics make sure the mirror/background is clean and uncluttered. Keep your car clean in case he needs to get in, you don’t want fast food wrappers and clothes all over the place.
Anonymous asked:
